Danger typically comes in two types, immediate and long term. The immediate danger for firefighters come in the form of the size and location of the fire, chemicals and charged electrical equipment. The most deadly long term danger most prevalent for firefighters is cancer from repeated exposure to carcinogens encountered on emergencies.

Dangers generally for firefighters are detected through observations related to sights, sounds, smells, signs, type of occupancy, stored chemicals, container labels, fire intensity and location, structural instability, smoke color, energized electrical equipment, etc.

Often the signs of trouble in relationships are present and we just miss them. We, like firefighters need to always be paying attention and stay alert to all aspects of our relationship with our spouse.

Notice the signs to the right and the flashing sign above the bridge. They are all signs of potential danger related to the height of vehicles. Those signs don’t prevent crashes or injuries unless the occupants of the vehicle are paying attention. In spite of those signs, this bridge has been struck numerous times, and vehicles frequently get stuck under it.

The clearance for vehicles passing under the bridge is 9 feet as the sign says. The average height of tractor trailer trucks is 13.5 feet. There in lies the potential danger for larger vehicles like buses, tractor trailers, moving trucks, etc.

In spite of all the warning signs, note the damage to the bridge caused by many, many vehicles. If we are not paying attention in our marriage similarly, damage and ultimately destruction can result.

So what are some of those signs we should be aware of? From several sources here are some behavioral signs of danger ahead in your marriage:

• Disrespect
• Anger
• Weak or nonexistent communications
• Bad Financial Decisions
• Blame
• Controlling
• Dishonesty
• Physical or sexual abuse
• Isolation

Relationship Road Signs

               His intention was not to malign
               And his actions were fully benign
                        But he still made a mess
                        When he made a wrong guess
               With no clue what she meant by her sign.

               When relationship signs don’t appear
               We will anxiously travel with fear
                        So the challenge for us
                       Is to talk and discuss
               And make sure that our signals are clear.

Dr. Bill Baker

QUESTIONS

Q: What areas in your marriage do you feel unsure about?

Q: What do you do to stay aware of potential danger to your marriage?

Q: What does “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” look like in your communications with your spouse?

CALL TO ACTION

Maintain great situational awareness in your marriage relationship. That means being present when you are with your spouse (like being careful about screen time and not talking much when you are together).

Pay attention to their mood, and ask good questions (see previous post). https://firelighter.home.blog/2024/03/04/askingtherightquestions/

This week review the above behavioral signs of danger in this post and talk with your spouse about any concerns with a solution mindset, not an accusatory approach.

Go Fan That Fire!