Category: Healthy Relationship

The Enemy

One key to being effective as a firefighter is knowing the enemy….fire. How it starts, behaves, progresses, travels, etc. How chemicals react with it, and especially what extinguishing agents are most effective in fighting fires.

One example of knowing the enemy of fire is magnesium fires. Firefighters could face this type fire with vehicles, tractor trailers and storage in buildings. If firefighters apply water on a magnesium fire the results will be violent and the fire will not go out.

There are many enemies of marriage, but the biggest is the devil. We need our eyes wide open and we need to know this enemy of our marriage.

  • 1 Peter 5:8 says, “be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”
  • John 8:44 describes satan as “a liar”.
  • 2 Corinthians 11:4 warns us that he, “disguises himself as an angel of light”.
  • John 10:10 uses the words, “steal, kill, destroy” describing the devil.

The verse in 1 Peter 5 describes the devil as a lion. Lions typically hunt when it is dark in dense cover so their prey can’t see the attack coming. The prey that typically get devoured by lions are alone. The lion’s charge is generally launched directly at the prey and it rarely alters the path of attack. It is also worth noting that the lion’s heart and lungs are small so they do not have the ability to sustain a long chase to catch their prey.

So what do we do? I offer three actionable items for you to consider in guarding your marriage from the devil’s attacks.

  • Stay alert and aware. Remember how verse 8 in 1 Peter 5 started, “be sober-minded; be watchful…”
  • Seek God through daily prayer, quiet time and Bible study. James 4:7 says, “Submit yourselves, then to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
  • Intertwine you, your spouse, and God in your marriage relationship. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broke.”

QUESTIONS

Q: What are some ways you can “stay alert” for the devil’s attacks?

Q: How can you help and encourage seeking God in your marriage?

CALL TO ACTION

Pick one of the actionable items or one your answers to the questions and discuss how you implement that with your spouse.

Green Thumbs and Growing Hearts

I was in a store with my wife recently and saw a sign for sale that was titled “Garden Rules”. Each of these Garden Rules is applicable to our marriage relationships too. Our relationships are much like plants that need sunlight, rain, nutrients, and pruning to grow just like our marriage relationship. That relationship requires intentional actions by both spouses.

Garden Rules sign seen in a gift shop.

– The soil of plants or comparably the environment of relationships must have nutrients and food to sustain growth. The roots must be healthy for a plant to thrive or a relationship to grow. Healthy roots are both deep and are intertwined.

– The type of seeds you plant in your relationship will determine what the relationship becomes. If you plant seeds of faith, hope, love, forgives, and selflessness the relationship will be very different from a relationship with seeds of selfishness, pride, and ego.

– Whether you hope for it or not, there will be rain (otherwise known as adversity) in your relationship. Rain doesn’t have to define your relationship but it will test your resolve and commitment.

– Weeds or unhealthy habits can develop so pulling weeds is definitely required. Unhealthy relational habits includes selfishness, trying to be understood before you try to understand, not communicating clearly, among many other good habits.

– Playing in the dirt is a synonym for keeping fun and playfulness in your relationship. Playfulness can be simply mean having a weekly date night, writing love letters occasionally or planning a short fun, trip together.

– Feed the birds is learning about yourself and your spouse. Feed your mind to grow in understanding about each other and how we react, what we want, and what our hopes and fears are.

– Welcoming butterflies is about caring for your spiritual needs each day. Prayer, meditation, reading the Bible, and being still and listening to God’s voice and looking for His hand is like welcoming the butterflies in your back yard with plants they like.

– Bees are symbolic of developing a sweetness in your relationship, much like the honey bees produce. That sweetness is needed every day in small ways. It is about thinking about your spouse and doing things that they like and appreciate.

– We really need to live in the moment and take time to enjoy the view. Some people call this mindfulness, but whatever you want to call it, “be present in the moment” and don’t worry about tomorrow or rehash the past repeatedly.

QUESTIONS

Q: How is your marriage relationship garden on a scale of 1 to 10 with respect to each Garden Rule above?

Q: Which of the above garden rules could help your marriage?

CALL TO ACTION

Focus on one of the garden rules this week and work to cultivate a stronger marriage relationship.

Go fan that fire!