Since Father’s Day is this coming weekend, I thought I’d share something my Dad taught me in life. I remember hearing at a very young age that we have two ears and one mouth, that we should listen twice as much as we talk. Easier said than done, especially when strong emotions and feelings are involved.

My Dad was one person who listened a lot more than he spoke, so I saw it modeled in life. He was a very patient man of few words but usually when he spoke it was worth listening.

Communications in firefighting is a life or death matter. The communications among fire department units must be clear and concise. The initial report of the first arriving fire apparatus paints a picture that builds a foundation for effectively resolving the emergency. That report typically includes 6 basic pieces of information:

1. Unit identification

2. Announce you are on Scene

3. Description of the problem

4. Describe any action you are taking

5. Declare your strategy

6. Assume command of the scene

We also need to be clear and concise in the communications with our spouse. Listening in marriage means more than just not talking. It means acknowledging what is said so the person speaking knows you heard the message, even if you disagree with it. One phrase to use when giving that feedback is, “so what I hear you saying is…..”.

Active listening is at the heart of this lost art. Active listening means focused, non-judgmental listening with your heart, mind, eyes and ears. Feedback is the food of communication champions by the way. Think about the last time your spouse was telling you something, did you actively listen; did you take these 6 basic active listening actions to foster good communications:

• Face them, give them your full attention & have good eye contact
• Observe their body language (non-verbal cues)
• Listen without immediately judging
• Not start to think about what you want to say before acknowledging what was being said to you
• Ask questions to better understand and clarify
• Paraphrase and summarize what was said to you

QUESTIONS

Q: Do I typically talk more than I listen?

Q: What aspects of active listening above can I improve on this week?

CALL TO ACTION

For this week focus on just three of the above 6 basic communications aspects of active listening and work to get better.

Go fan that fire!