Love Languages

What makes your spouse feel loved? And what makes you feel loved? Those are two very important questions we need to all be continuously learning, exploring, and expressing in our marriage.

One of the best books about what makes us feel loved is by Gary Chapman. It is simply called, “The Five Love Languages”. I read it several years ago, have re-read it a few times, and it is just as relevant and helpful today.

The five primary love languages Gary identifies are:

  • Words of affirmation
  • Quality time
  • Receiving gifts
  • Acts of service
  • Physical touch

Words of affirmation are simply words that encourage, are kind or express forgiveness.

Quality time is time together with focus on each other or just good communications with clear messages and understanding each other.

Receiving gifts is also straight forward. The gift should be something the person receiving likes and not necessarily something you like. Take time and think about what gift would mean a lot or would make them happy. Sometimes it can even be the gift of self. Being there when your spouse needs you speaks loudly.

Acts of service require thoughtfulness, effort, energy and time which is what makes the impact on their heart. It means doing something you know your spouse would like you to do without being asked to do it.

Physical touch can be anything from hand holding, to a back rub, to sexual intimacy.

QUESTIONS

Q: What is your spouses primary two or three love languages?

Q: How do you know and are you sure?

Q: What are your primary love languages?

CALL TO ACTION

Talk together about what makes you feel loved using this blog info, or even better, you and your spouse take the self test attached (click on the link below) and talk about it.

Go Fan that Fire!

LOVE LANGUAGE SELF TEST

Here is a link to a self test to download to help you better identify you and your spouses love languages: https://nbcgutah.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/5.LoveLanguageTest.pdf

Fire & Concrete

A fire needs three things to burn; heat, fuel and oxygen. Take any of those three away and the fire goes out. You can say that is written in concrete; hard true facts. To start and continue fanning the flame of love in marriage is similar in actions that are essential.

Have you ever seen something written in the concrete on a sidewalk? It usually involves children and sometimes a little mischief. How can you permanently write on the heart to strengthen the relationship with the one you love?

A message of young love written in stone.

There is something about putting words in concrete, especially a heart. Words written in concrete at least visually represent something lasting. There are some things I believe should be written in concrete as far as a lasting loving marriage relationship. Some of those keys are commitment, respect, forgiveness, selfless attitude, and unconditional love most importantly.

A heart I saw in Arizona while visiting my daughter and her family.

MESSAGES WRITTEN IN CONCRETE

  • Commitment
  • Respect
  • Forgiveness
  • Selflessness
  • Unconditional love

QUESTIONS

What messages are you writing on the heart of your spouse?

Reflect on your actions in your relationship this last week. Are the messages you wrote with your words and actions reflecting the five key areas above?

Does silence write a message on your spouse’s heart? If so, what messages could it be from their perspective?

A CALL TO ACTION

Focus on one of the 5 areas above and write on the heart of your spouse through your actions this week. Go fan that fire!